Dear Dad,....

[RADD]

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to “Dad.” With
the worst premonition, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and
read the letter.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have
been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve
of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that
she is much older than I am. But it’s not only passion...Dad, she’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for
ourselves and trading it with other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime, we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son , John

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report
card that’s in the center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it’s
safe to come home.