Girlfriend 7.0

[Monarch]

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help! Thanks,A Troubled User (KEEP READING) ______________________________________
REPLY Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Best of luck, Tech Support

[RADD]

OMG! This is drop-dead hilarious!

Thank you for finding this!

[Ultratank]

Rofl rofl!

[kendrah1]

Lol, I saw this a long time ago and it's still funny.

[Somethingbetter]

lol word

[guildwarss]

LOL very nice one

[Matkillah]

myne can't seem to update from good friend 2.2 to girlfriend 7.0... always getting the "don't Wanna" error..

god damn Microsoft.

[cheetolay]

I'm currently in the process of upgrading to husband 1.0, I wonder if Tech Support could help me with that.

[hooksta4]

The ONLY reason I have this is my wife sent it to me yesterday while I was at work...

But here is the other half of that...

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications (which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0).



In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, bu t to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate


Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 (and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update). If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the application Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5 But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.



Whatever you do DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also, do not attemp to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0



In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7

Good Luck,


Tech Support

[Vinya]

Hahaha, both versions were hilarious!